Schwartz's: Montreal, Circa 1999

What's this shit about lining up for food. For the past few years, I've noticed people lining up at mediocre restaurants for breakfast and dinner. Schwartz's is a Montreal institution that's been around for years. The smoked meat is OK, the ambiance is awful, the waiters are downright rude, and everybody lines up Sunday afternoon to get in and experience this shit. Look at the picture! Its raining for christsake! Across the street is the Main. The smoked meat is great, the ambiance is cool retro 1950's chic (not contrived), the waitress has been there for ever and is really sweet, but professional and best of all, you never have to wait to get in. But look at all those lemmings across the street. They are standing in the rain for up to one hour waiting to eat ordinary smoked meat and be insulted by some schmuck waiter because they think they are recapturing a moment in Montreal's ethnic past that has not existed in years. Scwartz's in the '40s was certainly more charming then, but its gone.

Here in Florida, there is a restaurant in Lake Worth on the Pier called Johnny G's. Its a dump but the line up for breakfast is about the length of a football field. They line up for two hours just to eat breakfast! Is it just me? Breakfast is orange juice, coffee, toast and for others some eggs or something. That's it. What the fuck are they lining up for? There must be about twenty diners within a few miles of Johnny G's that has the same thing without the wait but they all line up here and for the life of me I will never lean why.

The only time I will wait in line for a meal is if the place is really good, I have a reservation and the Maitre Di says it will be a few minutes while they set the table. At least I am waiting for something special. But for some greasy spoon diner with a "reputation"— fuckem